Posts in the For Writers category are most likely to appeal to authors and illustrators.

Scenes & Scene Breaks in Novels

I’m doing my homework for the Outline a Scene Fictionary Live course. Here’s part of the instructions. Using five books that appeal to you…

… Read the first scene where the reader is introduced to the protagonist.

Note down if this scene what the What if Goal Fails story element is for each scene.
Notice if the Impact on the POV: is it positive or negative?
Then look at the Scene Climax. …

Simple right? Maybe not. It turns out that I may not understand the definition of a scene as well as I think, or at least the way to show a scene change. Determining where a scene begins and ends is easy when reading the first chapter of SIMPLY LIES by Baldacci. The chapter is only four pages. But when I examine JUDGE’S LIST by Grisham where does the scene end? I think of a new scene starting whenever one of these items changes:

  1. POV character
  2. Characters in the scene
  3. Storyline
  4. Scene location
  5. Time

And, I think of a scene being delineated by an extra carriage return Like this in THE JUDGE’S LIST:

Judge's List by Grisham excerpt showing that there is a scene break with extra vertical space.

The circled area shows a vertical break which indicates a shift in scene.

Or by using a scene change character, such as a diamond, leaf, or other graphic, known as a dinkus.

But take a look at page 3 of  THE JUDGES LIST:

There's no dinkus or paragraph separation here in page 3 of The Judge's List

There’s no dinkus or paragraph separation here in page 3 of The Judge’s List

 

Look at the circled area there. The POV character remains the same, but there’s a new scene location and a new character is introduced.  Seems like a scene change to me, but there’s no physical indication of this scene change.  Do only major scene changes merit special treatment? Perhaps it is just this book that does not always delineate scenes.  Nope.  Look at this table.

An excerpt from a table that I constructed to evaluate the impact of POV changes on several thrillers.

Several thrillers have scenes that are not indicated physically.

 

 

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Onomatopoeia Words

This is a list of onomatopoeia words that I’ve compiled. They add zing and zest to writing, if used judiciously.  (There’s some duplication. There’s a reason for that.)  If you have additional words to suggest, please use my Contact page.

Alan Jordan’s List of Onomatopoeia words :

A

Aahhh

achoo

ahem

Ahem

ahem (vocal)

Arf

arf arf

Arghh

awe

Awooga, or Aooga, the sound of an old-fashioned vehicle horn

 

 

B

baa

bah

bam (collision)

Bang

bang (collision)

Bang! The sound of an explosion or a gunshot

bark

barroom

bash

bawl

beep

Beep, a high-pitched signal

Beep, beep, 1929 word for a car horn

belch (vocal)

blab

blare

bleep

blink

blip

bloop (water)

blurt

blurt (vocal)

boing

boink

bong

boo

Boo

boo hoo

boom

Boom, the sound of an explosion

bow wow

bray (animal)

Brrng

bubble

bump

burp

buzz

buzz  (animal)

 

C

Cackle

cackle

Chatter

chatter

chatter (vocal)

cheep  (animal)

Cheer

Ching, the sound of metal on metal

chirp  (animal)

chomp

choo choo

chop

chortle  (animal)

chow

chug

clang (collision)

Clank

clank

clank (collision)

Clap

clap (collision)

Clatter

clatter

clatter (collision)

Click

click

click (collision)

clink

clink (collision)

Clink, the sound of glass on glass

clip

clomp

cluck

cluck  (animal)

clunk

cock a doodle doo

cock-a-doodle-doo  (animal)

crack

Crackle

Crackle, the sound of wood burning

Crash

crash

crash (collision)

Crash, the sound of a heavy object falling or colliding

Creak, the sound a door makes when opening

crinkle

croak

crow

Crunch

crunch

crunch (collision)

cuckoo

cuckoo  (animal)

 

D

ding (collision)

ding a ling

ding dong

Ding dong, the sound of a ringing bell

Ding-Dong

dip

dribble (water)

Drip

drip

drip (water)

drizzle (water)

drop

dunk

 

E

Eek

eek

eek (vocal)

ewe

Eeeee (expression of joy)

Ewww  or oooh https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-yCg-0-baE (expression of ewe for amazement or disgust)

F

fisst  (air)

Fizz

fizz

Fizz, sound of effervescence

fizzle

flap

flick

flip

flit

Flipflop

flop

flutter

flutter (air)

Flutter, sound of rapid motion, e.g. aeroelastic flutter

fwoosh  (air)

 

G

gasp  (air)

gee

giggle

giggle (vocal)

grate

grind

groan

groan (vocal)

Growl

growl

growl (vocal)

grumble

grunt

grunt (vocal)

gulp (vocal)

gurgle

gurgle (vocal)

 

H

ha

hack

Haha

hee haw

Hiccup

hiccup

hiss

hiss  (animal)

ho ho ho

holler

Honk

honk

honk  (animal)

Honk, sound of a car horn; also used for the call of a goose

hoot

hop

Howl

howl

howl  (animal)

huh

hum

Hush

 

I

J

 

Jangle

Jingle

jingle (collision)

 

K

Kaboom, the sound of an explosion

ker-ching

kerchoo

kerplunk

knock (collision)

Knock, the sound of a knuckle or a knocker lightly striking a door

 

L

la

Lala

 

M

Meow

meow

Moan

moan

moan (vocal)

Moo

moo

mumble

mumble (vocal)

munch

Murmur

murmur

murmur (vocal)

 

N

Neigh

neigh

 

O

Oink

oink

oooh https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-yCg-0-baE (as in oooh ahhh)

Oom-pah, the rhythmical sound of a deep brass instrument in a band

ooze

ouch

owe

 

P

phew

Ping

ping

pitter patter

pizzazz

plink plunk

Plop

plop

plunk

Poof

poof

Pow

pow

Psst

purr  (animal)

 

Q

Quack

quack (animal)

 

R

rattle

retch

Ribbit

ribbit

ribbit  (animal)

Ring

ring

rip

Roar

roar

Rumble

Rumble

rush

Rustle

rustle

 

S

scrape

screech

screech (collision)

Shhh

shriek

shuffle

shush

sigh

Sizzle

Sizzle

sizzle

slam

slap (collision)

slop

Slosh

slurp

Smack

smack

smash (collision)

smooth

Snap, the sound of a twig breaking or wet wood on a fire

snarl

sniff

snuff

snort

splash (water)

Splash, sound of water upon disturbance

splat

Splat, the sound a tomato makes when it hits a hard surface

spray (water)

sprinkle (water)

squeak

squeal

squeal (vocal)

squirt (water)

Squish

Squish

squish

squall

Swish

swish

swish  (air)

swoop

Swoosh

swoosh

swoosh (air)

 

T

Tap

tap

Thud

thud

thud (collision)

Thump

Thump

thump

thump (collision)

Tick tick tick, sound of a timer

tick tock

Tick tock, sound of a clock

Tick-Tock

Tlot (horse hooves)

Toot

toot

trickle

tsk

twang

tweet

tweet  (animal)

twinkle

 

U

ughh

ummm

varoom

 

 

V

Vroom, sound of an engine revving up

vworp

 

W

waft (air)

wah

warble  (animal)

wee

weep

whack

whiff

whiff (air)

Whimper

whimper

whimper (vocal)

whine

whip

whip (air)

Whirr

Whisper

whiz

whizz (air)

whoosh

whoosh (air)

Whoosh, sound of the wind

Woof

woof woof

 

X

 

Y

yakety yak

yap

yawn

yell

yelp

yikes

yip

yip pee

 

Z

zap

Zap, sound of an electrostatic discharge

zig zag

zing

Zip

zip

zonk

Zoom

zoom

 

Many of the words come from these sources.  Also, there’s some interesting information on these pages.

https://examples.yourdictionary.com/5-examples-of-onomatopoeia.html

https://thinkwritten.com/onomatopoeia/

https://www.sps186.org/downloads/basic/607638/OnomatopoeiaWordListActivity.pdf

 

https://www.examples.com/education/onomatopoeia-examples.html

 

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Technical Information about Picture Book Construction

There are several ways to layout a Picture Book

These are two of them. I’m not going to get into details here, because there are excellent resources already.

Shows 14-2page spreads in a picture book layout.

                                                   Image courtesy of Tara Lazar. 

 

Image courtesy of Words & Pictures.

If you’re interested in learning more about picture-book construction, please see these two web pages:

Graphic Novels are Different

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Using Imagination to Create Stories, Part 3 – Mules & Dragon Lights

One of the things that I’m doing as a result of COVID-19 social distancing is taking time to improve my photography. Here’s a shot of two mules.  It’s okay. I was six feet away from them, and I used a Zoom lens. This could be the impetus for a non-fiction book about mules, maybe HOW MULES PARENT or a fictional story about a mule who longs to get out where the grass is greener but discovers that greener does not always mean sweeter. I also thought I’d share a photo I took at the Dragon Lights Festival in 2018

Read more

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Using Imagination to Create Stories, Part 2 – Coaches & Swirly Bird

Sometimes I am inspired by people’s actions.  For example, I recently saw an SUV where someone soaped on the message, “Thank You Coaches.”  My imagination fired up. Immediately, I thought it was one of a number of high school graduates who decided to honor their coaches but were limited by social distancing imposed by COVID-19. I liked that idea. I liked the way that he or she is giving back. I imagined an entire slew of cars thanking their coaches for a job well done. I began to wonder just what the coaches had done to inspire kids to take such a positive action. It really could be the inspiring idea for a non-fiction book about a particular coach, a fiction idea about a coach who inspires the team but falls prey to COVID-19, or any other number of ideas.

Sometimes, I am inspired by nature.

One day I was lying down on a chaise lounge and I noticed the clouds morphing into different shapes.  I decided to take pictures of the clouds as they drifted. Read more

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Using Imagination to Create Stories – Part 1 – Jellyfish & Bears

When someone finds out I’m an author, they often ask me where I get my ideas. Sometimes, I am inspired by other people’s art.  For example, I took this photo when I went to a festival of lights. I still haven’t made a story out of it, but I will one day.  Would you like to use this picture to help you write a story?  Click on the picture to see it blown up.  (Want to know more?  Check out  https://www.ktvn.com/story/38263424/chinese-lantern-festival-dragon-lights-comes-to-reno-this-summer.)

One of the sources for ideas for me is observing the world around me.  I recently snapped a photo of the back of a van. Read more

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Useful Sites for Writers

These are websites that I have found helpful. I will add more from time-to-time.

Craft

Planning your book

A strong “logline” that keeps me on track when outlining, writing, and editing. Without it I don’t write the best possible story.   (See https://logline.it/howto/)

Point of View & Perspective

POV and perspective are different.  These are some of the best articles I’ve found on them:

All about POV, Which one should you use

What’s the difference between perspective and POV

Read more

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Virtual Presentation Clearinghouse

Hello fellow creatives,

As you may know, I am technologically proficient. (I was a professional programmer for 20 years.) I’m using that knowledge to create a home on the web for all of us who want to do virtual presentations–not just reading a story online, but entertaining and empowering students and library patrons.  The site name that I’ve tentatively chosen is http://Max-Opp.com.  (It’s not open for business yet.)

I visualize exciting meetings that bring together several creatives.  Later, we may also do in-person visits.

You may examine some of my ideas by clicking on this link, Virtual Visits.

I think it will require a one-time investment of about $25  plus a small monthly fee to create and run the site. The fees pay for a web developer(s) and a staff person who will keep in touch with members.  I want to continue to focus on writing.

Read more

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Work-in-Progress

Writing children’s picture books is hard. I make it harder on myself because my goal is to write award-winning picture books.

Over the last four years I have written 60 manuscripts.  Of those

  • Four are hopeless. They’ll never see the light of day, including possibly the worst version of Cinderella ever written.  But, I did learn a lot about adapting a fairy tale from that story.
  • Three are submission-ready
  • Three are just about submission-ready
  • The rest are somewhere in between.

Somewhere in between means:

  • Checking the market to see if there’s still a need for that type of manuscript;
  • Reading many other picture books for fun, and to see what techniques I might use in my work;
  • Taking a good hard look to see if the best format for the story is a picture book. (At least two of my stories need to change to chapter books, one fits the category of short-story best, and one looks like it’s best suited for a graphic novel.)
  • Rewriting the story from different character’s Point of View to see if the story becomes more interesting;
  • Assuring that information that’s leftover from a previous edit, but is no longer needed, is purged;
  • Reading the story about and retaining only words that are absolutely necessary (Some words can be replaced by illustration)  Please see this blog entry from The Quote Investigator for a fuller explanation) ;
  • Reviewing illustration (art) notes to assure that they are not restricting the illustrator
  • Removing illustration (art) notes that are not necessary
  • Creating a color-coded writer’s storyboard that lets me see what’s lacking in each of these areas:
    • Action
    • Captivating page turns
    • Sounds
    • Humor
    • Heart
    • Sense-evoking (Sound, smell, taste, touch, and intuition as well as sight.) The more the better
    • Sufficient white space to make the story interesting
  • Over 50 other items on a check list;
  • Checking for grammar
  • Checking for kid-friendly language
  • Getting feedback from in-person and online writer’s critique groups;
  • Possibly, paying for a critique from a professional editor.

Since I still want to write new stories, many of the manuscripts that are somewhere in between are unliklely to get revised.

Now, I just have to be assertive about letting the world know about the three or four stories that I feel are submission ready. It’s easy for me to sell someone else’s work than my own. Alas, I wish I were more inclined to sell my own work.

 

 

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